


ardor

by eggi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Canon Divergrence, Domestic, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy For Now, Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, post-sdr2, takes place after sdr2, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27883241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggi/pseuds/eggi
Summary: komaeda wonders how he deserved any of this. any of hinata. he can't help but feel grateful, though, even though he may be living on borrowed time.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	ardor

Komaeda shifts around restlessly in his bed, white sheets tangling with his legs as he sighs softly, though not with much irritation. Instead of struggling more (it would probably make things worse) he turns his head over to redirect his attention to Hinata, his lover; no matter how many times that word wormed its way into his head it always managed to make him feel he was on cloud 9.

Komaeda was truly, truly lucky. Lucky to have lived this long, to have come back alive, get a second chance of life, and having such a bright hope being his lover. Such useless and vile beings such as him shouldn't have been allowed to be near someone so radiant, so perfect, and Komaeda lets a grateful smile rest on his expression. It was a wonder Hinata even liked him after what he had done - what he had done in the game, what he had done outside of it, no less.

Why, he didn’t believe someone the likes of him should have been given another chance. It was only because of how gracious and kind Hinata was that he was allowed to live, and he can’t help but swoon at the thought of someone so talented fretting over him like this. Their relationship hadn’t even reached 2 weeks’ time, but Komaeda truly felt he loved Hinata. Probably.

He briefly realizes that had he not been as stubborn to accepting Hinata’s help and pushing him away, he would have had a much better chance at elongating this relationship. The thought makes him internally chuckle, although a twinge of guilt gnawed at his heart. Had he not been as difficult about talent and hope, and if he didn’t fail to realize despite Hinata’s status as a reserve, he had such blinding hope, maybe he would have been able to savor Hinata’s warmth against him longer.

Komaeda didn’t expect anything less from someone as underwhelming and simple minded as himself, so it didn’t really matter anyways. He resists putting his hand on Hinata’s cheek, knowing he’d probably taint him - he’d only allow Hinata to physically touch him, that way, Komaeda wouldn’t fail him with how utterly disappointing he was. If he touched Hinata, let alone be this close to him… he would rather not think of the consequences.

It’s as if the realization of that brought Komaeda out of his lovestruck daze, and he quickly attempts to clamber out of the bed, but he failed to realize that his legs were still wound up in that blanket of his, and he ends up - quite ridiculously- falling over and off the bed, his back hitting the floor with a loud thud and he winces. Haha, how funny it would be if he broke something, or he sprained his ankle while he fell, but luckily it wasn’t the case.

There was still a dull ache in his back where he landed. It was probably going to bruise later on. Perhaps this was the bad luck that followed because he was able to gaze at Hinata in such a way? Oh, how poetic, that his love for Hinata would end in his own suffering - or maybe even Hinata’s. He didn’t want to dwell on it further, and he bites back a wheeze as he hears rustling and a faint grumble.

“Nagito?” Hinata calls out, voice still scratchy and rough from just waking up. Komaeda feels his heart swell again in that weird feeling of love, along with the warmth of being called his given name. It wasn’t long until Hinata’s sleep riddled brain realized Komaeda had fallen, and Hinata jerked over to where Komaeda was. “Nagito? Are you okay?” He asks hastily, mover to the edge of the bed before putting a tentative hand underneath Nagito’s backside, making quick work of hefting Komaeda back up to the bed.

Komaeda was always taken aback at how Hinata was more physically talented now. He feels his face grow warm as he smiles, and Hinata gives an awkward smile back as Komaeda sighs wistfully. “Ah, sorry Hinata-kun. I shouldn’t have gone and fallen like that, how pathetic! I’m sure I reminded you of a dung beetle flipped over unable to do anything, how useless-” Hinata interrupts Komaeda promptly, eyebrows furrowing again.

“What’d I tell you about not speaking like that near me? Or- well- near anyone?” Hinata chastises gently, although the tone felt monotonous, bored, and Komaeda just learns to adapt to it, learning to deduce how Hinata was feeling with his minimal body language and expressions. Even though he wasn’t bright, he still knew how to read Hinata.

“Oh, sorry, sorry,” Komaeda gives a breathy chuckle, “It’s only been a week or so of us together and I still can’t wrap my head around your suggestions. Sorry, Hinata-kun. I truly am idioti-” Hinata puts a hand over Komaeda’s mouth, brows drawn more than before with a stern expression, and Komaeda’s eyes crinkle up in an indication of a smile.

Hinata sighs afterwards, clicking his tongue. “Even if it’s been a week, you’ve got frontotemporal dementia.” Hinata supplies helpfully, although his deduction took a more monotonous tone once more, as if he cared more for fact than Komaeda’s feelings, and Komaeda feels giddy at the quick glimpse of Kamukura, although there is a leaden feeling in his gut at the reminder he was living on numbered days. “Your illness keeps you from being able to communicate or gain social cues. You don’t have to apologize, Nagito, I fully understand it and I won’t hold it against you again in our relationship.”

Komaeda feels butterflies grow in his stomach at how his tone shifted to a more sympathetic and sincere one at the ending, and it truly made him feel cared for, no matter how he was undeserving of it and he grins, resisting the urge to hold Hinata’s hand. “Nagito, you know I can try to use the talents he got to cure you, right?” He mumbles, purposefully avoiding Izuru’s name.

Komaeda frowns, tilting his head to the side almost comically. “Hina- Hajime,” he corrects, trying to make it more intimate to show he truly stood by this matter. “I’ve… accepted it. It’d be much too abrupt for me to realize I truly won’t die. Besides, I’d rather not taint you more than I have. I can’t forgive myself if I were to hurt you or made you waste any more effort on me than you have already. I’d rather pass knowing I lived out rather than live with the guilt of knowing I made you work so tirelessly for me.”

Hinata looks frustrated at this notion, holding Komaeda’s pale hand in his own, staring down at it. “Nagito, I don’t want you to die. Not again. I can’t lose you again.” he admits, a strange vulnerability painting his expression and Komaeda feels that guilt grip at his heart again. Komaeda picks up Hinata’s hand gingerly, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, despite his brain screaming at him that he was going to bring Hinata down, kill him with that wretched luck of his.

He looks back up after his hand-kiss, staring into Hinata’s heterochromic eyes with certainty. “Hajime. I don’t want you to grieve me if I die. It’ll be hard on you, and it hurts me to make this request, but,” Komaeda gives a gentle smile, the smile Hinata was used to when he was greeted by him first at the island. “I believe my death will push you forward, somehow. I want you to benefit from my death positively - perhaps make a memorial for me, maybe you’ll learn to move on. If I die, it won’t even be impactful anyways! Maybe you’ll have more space for someone else to come to this island, like Naegi-kun, or maybe his coworkers. They’ll help far more than I have in my time here.”

Komaeda grins afterwards, an almost delusional speech making its way out of his throat, but Hinata stops him. “I don’t want to interject, but what the fuck, Nagito? Do you know how weird you sound right now? You’re sounding like you’re at those trials again, and it won’t be a big deal. I’m sure I could find a cure.” He says gently, frustration simmering down to something more tranquil. “Just please, let me do this for you. It’s selfish, I know you’d rather pass on but - please. Please, just let me indulge myself in helping you. I can’t lose someone important to me anymore.”

Komaeda blinks. He blinks again, and he’s briefly aware of the tears welling up in his eyes, and he feels Hinata’s arms encircle him, embrace him, and he’s suddenly warm again. Komaeda clutches onto Hinata, tears spilling out of his eyes as he cries into his shoulder, and Komaeda hasn’t regretted something this much after he started dating Hinataa. Komaeda wasn’t ready to die. He didn’t want to die again, and he wanted to stay in Hinata’s arms more, just longer, stay in his grip that ensured nothing would hurt him. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay happy longer, and he supposed it was selfish to go against fate itself, but for once he couldn’t care less.

Komaeda could indulge just a bit longer.

**Author's Note:**

> heyhey,,, wrote this when i had a lot of motivation  
> i wanted to make angst, but i'll do that later today (suddenly feel productive, so expect more komahina and shit HAKFDSKJFDS)  
> thank you for reading!!! still getting the hang of ao3 
> 
> pls remember i'm too lazy to look through my fics for any errors or mistakes/plotholes, ooc characters,,,,, if you spot anything blatantly wrong please point it out for me!!! thank you, love u all


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